The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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