I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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