Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
