once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize