I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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