i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
two words: eviction party
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
