Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?