physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?