Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Say something about gay babies.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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