ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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