oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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