rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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