Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
