lets start a swedish sibling band together
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize