I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
