Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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