I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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