Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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