I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
