Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
