Kiss
Puke
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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