no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
