Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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