it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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