but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
