This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
