Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I pour the whiskey from now on
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize