READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
