I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just pee around me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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