Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
