So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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