I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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