i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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