i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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