guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
