She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
