I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
