sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize