Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry atx2chi hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(289): View more from Ontario

i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?

Fav 20 1050 5527
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.

Fav 16 1108 3376
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(361): View more from Texas

is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?

(702): View more from Nevada

not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning

Fav 23 3000 4739
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did

Fav 11 1370 4594
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball

(419): View more from Ohio

And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity

Fav 35 6073 2249
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.

Fav 5 3668 1257
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(318): View more from Louisiana

Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.

Fav 7 2442 754
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?

Fav 3 183 339
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.

Fav 0 11 56
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT