did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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