Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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