listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I've blown a few things in my day
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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