OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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