woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
