me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
