i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize