So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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