So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
