Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
