i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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