he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize