Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize