Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm always down for nudity.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The air taste purple.
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