Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
