turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize