Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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