So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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