I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
