Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
